A Love Letter to Movies Where Nothing Happens

I don’t like when characters I like are in trouble. I have always been this way! I like when my favorite characters are enjoying their lives! Years ago, I remember watching an Avengers movie and thinking that the best parts are when they are all hanging out joking with each other. I would watch that for two and a half hours, easily. A few nights ago, Tom and I were in the middle of watching Richard Linklater’s Everybody Wants Some!! and Tom turned to me and said, “This is like your perfect movie. There is nothing happening.” He was absolutely right on both fronts. 

Everybody Wants Some!! is a spiritual sequel to Dazed and Confused about a baseball team’s first few days at college in 1980. Nothing really happens. There’s no real conflict. It’s not baseball season and no games are played. No one is worried about making the team or facing their rival in the playoffs. Classes don’t start until literally the last five minutes of the movie, so no one is stressed out about their course load. We just follow a group of young adult men (many in incredible mustaches) as they listen to music, attend parties, and try to get girls. The most tense scene in the film is when one of the players loses at ping pong and throws the paddle. 

I loved it. First of all, the title is just an amazing use of not one, but two exclamation points. Also, too many movies are focused on conflict. If I want to watch something with an important social message, then yes--conflict is important and necessary. However, if I am watching comedies or romances or movies meant for a younger demographic, I want the lowest stakes possible. 

Seriously! If it’s a movie where I’m supposed to laugh, I do NOT want a tragic subplot or a moment where the character loses everything. I want the hero to brush off any problems (which are hopefully small and unimportant!) and to get on with having a great time being the lead in a movie. That’s part of the reason why I really enjoyed watching Dolemite is My Name last week. We didn’t wallow in the hardships of Rudy Ray Moore. They were there, for sure, but the movie focused on the bright, fun, tenacious personality of our protagonist. We don’t have enough movies like that, and I think that it’s really untapped gold.

Let’s face it: in a world where The Great British Bake Off is on a constant loop in many households, the market for entertainment to match our cozy pajamas and hot tea soaked nights is bigger than ever. We wouldn’t be as disappointed in the final season of Game of Thrones if the previous seven seasons were focused more on palace intrigue and less on white walkers. The stakes for an epic ending wouldn’t have been nearly as high if the Red Wedding was about how hideous those ketchup-colored bridesmaids dresses were--I’m just saying!

I’m here to say to movie makers and movie watchers everywhere: movies where nothing happens are important. They deserve to be seen and loved and watched on cable until the end of time. I will be first in line to see the Marvel movie where the Hulk and Black Panther gently argue over which scone filling they think Ant Man would like best. Until then, I will continue to like Paddington’s tweets about enjoying a rainy afternoon unabashed. 

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