Zombiepocalypse: A Ranking of the Most Terrifying Movie Zombies to Fight
Here’s another guest article! With the release of The Last of Us 2 looming, Chris Chan wrote about zombies from his favorite zombie movies!
Anyone who’s ever seen a zombie movie before has almost certainly had some form of this thought cross their mind: “What would it actually be like trying to survive and fight these zombies?” But not all zombies are created alike. Depending on what zombie movie you find yourself dropped into in your survival horror fantasy, the possible outcomes could range from “I actually like this better than the world right now” to human hamburger faster than they sell Big Macs at McDonalds. Below is a ranking of the some of the most popular zombie movies to hit the big screen and how horrifying it would actually be to exist in that zombie world.
10. Shaun of the Dead
One of the most beloved zombie movies and comedies of all time, Shaun of the Dead was the first film to take a zombie movie and spin it into the comedic genre. The group of characters led by Shaun (Simon Pegg) was quite slow, much like the zombies in the movie, to catch onto the outbreak turning people into the living dead. The zombies actually moved so slow that lining them up in a 100-meter sprint with a tortoise and a sloth would likely make for a photo finish. If running past them wasn’t an option you could simply act like a zombie and slip by them without any problems. Add that to the fact that they were also easily dispatched with blunt objects (no guns necessary) and you have a recipe for a pretty relaxed zombie apocalypse. The group somehow still managed to get trapped by a hoard of zombies in their favorite pub and are only survived by Shaun and his love interest, Liz. On the bright side of things Shaun did get to keep his best buddy Ed as a zombified pet.
9. Zombieland
Another zombie movie that turned into a cult classic, much like Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland would certainly not be the worst zombie apocalypse scenario you could find yourself thrust into. Yes, these zombies can run, but they aren’t so fast that you can’t outrun them with some decent cardio, which is Columbus’s (Jesse Eisenberg) #1 rule. You can also trick these zombies into thinking you are one of them with some decent makeup and acting: enter Bill Murray cameo. However, these zombies don’t die quite as easily as the ones in Shaun of the Dead and sometimes require a double tap to finish them off. The characters in this movie prove it’s still possible to have plenty of fun in Zombieland while remaining uneaten.
8. Maze Runner: Scorch Trials
Some of you will probably question if this is actually a zombie movie but there are zombie-like creatures in it so I’m going to count it. The zombies in this movie known as Cranks might be visually the scariest zombies on this list. Late-stage Cranks have weird growths coming out of their faces and barely resemble anything human at all. While these zombies are pretty fast they don’t seem to be the strongest and go down pretty easily after being hit with blunt objects. The sheer number of zombies is also not as much of a factor as in other movies but if you have Usain Bolt trying to run you down and eat you, how many other zombies there are is probably irrelevant.
7. The Walking Dead
Okay I’m cheating a bit here because The Walking Dead isn’t a movie but it has been one of the most successful shows on television in recent history and a pop culture fixture. The zombies in the show are actually pretty slow moving but don’t let that lull you into a false sense of security. Their strength is in their numbers. Referred to as a “herd” by the show's characters, these large hordes of zombies are impossible to avoid. If you happen to be unlucky enough to cross paths with one there’s no running around it or trying to fight your way through – there are just too many zombies. They can fill entire city streets and overrun compounds in a matter of minutes. Another added element of danger in this zombie world is that you don’t have to get bitten in order to turn into a zombie. Dying from natural (or unnatural) causes, so long as it’s not a bullet or knife to the brain, also guarantees you a one-way ticket to becoming one of the walking dead, which might be the most terrifying part.
6. Train to Busan
If you don’t mind subtitles in your movies, or if you’re fluent in Korean, Train to Busan is an excellent zombie film and overall film in general. But we’re not here to rate this movie based on the merits of its plot or characters. The zombies in this movie have excellent cardiovascular endurance as well as top line speed, probably because they don’t have working brains to tell them they are getting tired. They also display outstanding teamwork as evidenced by forming a giant chain of zombies holding onto a moving train and eventually slowing it down. Props to the one zombie who was actually gripping the train and had 500 other zombies holding onto him. That’s next level putting the team on your back. These zombies aren’t without their weaknesses though as they’re not the most physically imposing. One character that is built like an all-pro linebacker consistently throws these zombies around like rag dolls, slamming them into the windows and roof of the train. The way he handles these zombies is likely what you would picture if you unleashed Jon “Bones” Jones in a death match held in a subway car with normal people. However, the smarter way to deal with these zombies would be to sneak around them in the darkness, which is what the characters of the movie eventually figure out.
5. Overlord
If this were a list for the most graphic and disturbing zombie movie Overlord would rank number one. Set in WW2 on the eve of D-Day, a group of soldiers have the misfortune of encountering some truly sick Nazi experiments that turn people into the most savage of zombies. The dead in the movie who are brought back to life with some experimental serum can take an unfathomable amount of punishment. Speared through the chest with a metal pipe? Not dead. A flurry of machine gun rounds to the torso? Not dead. Three headshots with a revolver? Still not dead. No other zombie on this list can take as much damage as these guys can and continue to keep trucking. The only proven methods demonstrated to ensure a zombie stayed dead was to reduce its head to a jello-like consistency by continual bashing or torch it with a flamethrower. If that wasn't bad enough, some of these zombies were actually sentient. So why aren’t these zombies number one in the rankings? Ultimately it boils down to a numbers game. You only turn into a zombie if you’re injected with the secret Nazi serum post-mortem and can’t be infected by bites or transfer of bodily fluid like in typical zombie movies. So instead of fighting an entire world full of zombies you really only have to deal with a handful of experimental Nazi super-zombies. It’s kind of a different spin on the age-old question, “would you rather fight 50 duck-sized horses, or one horse-sized duck?”
4. I Am Legend
Unlike in some other zombie movies, the reason for the zombie outbreak in I Am Legend is revealed to the viewer. An experimental cure for cancer has killed off almost all of the human population and turned many of the remaining survivors into what are essentially superhuman vampires. Superhuman vampires sound like they would rank higher on this list but the reason it comes in at the four slot is due to one key (and obvious) reason: these zombies are photosensitive. The second they come into contact with direct sunlight their skin starts sizzling, which means all outdoor activities in the day time can be enjoyed without the constant fear of being ripped to shreds. The minute the sun goes down though you might want to find someplace to lay low for the night because these zombies are fast, superhumanly strong, and actually display some level of intelligence. Don’t forget about the ferocious zombie dogs too.
3. 28 Weeks Later
The zombies in 28 Weeks Later are a bit different than your typical zombie as these zombies, which are infected with the rage virus, don’t necessarily want to eat you so much as they want to rip your face off your face. That’s probably not even the worst part though. If you’re infected via transmission of bodily fluid you’ll end up turning into one of these raging zombies within seconds, which doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for goodbyes if you find yourself traveling with companions. These zombies are extremely fast and relentless, as they’ll run through glass walls if they’re in hot pursuit. The only positive is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel in this apocalypse. These zombies will eventually begin to starve, which means you can theoretically wait out the zombie plague if you were to find a secure or secluded enough location.
2. Resident Evil
The only movie on this list to be adapted from a video game, Resident Evil put the survival horror video game genre on the map. Unfortunately, the big screen adaptation largely falls flat in comparison to the fanfare the video game generated, but still manages to produce plenty of zombie action. The zombies in Resident Evil are not like the fast and brutal zombies we see higher on this list but what they lack in speed they make up for in resiliency. Body shots don’t really slow them down at all so it’s headshot or bust if you are fighting these zombies. As another added element of danger there are mutated zombies called “lickers” (had to look that one up) that are probably the most vicious zombies on this list. Having to fight one of these lickers is probably the equivalent of having to fight a Siberian tiger with an Airsoft gun. The presence of these mutated zombies alone is enough propel Resident Evil to number two on this list.
1. World War Z
The zombies from World War Z top the rankings as hands down the worst zombies to find yourself trying to fight off. They have every characteristic that makes zombies an absolute nightmare to try and escape from or fight. They’re fast (arguably the fastest on this list), strong (as evidenced by them spearing people Ray Lewis style in the opening scene on the streets of Philadelphia), relentless (they will jump off high rise buildings in hopes of earning a meal), and they form stampedes capable of overturning buses or scaling hundred-foot walls. These zombies are so unbelievably horrifying that Brad Pitt decided he would rather take his chances blowing a hole in a plane with a grenade and surviving a crash than face a cabin full of these monsters. In the end, the only solution to fighting or sneaking around these zombies was to inject yourself with a lethal pathogen so the zombies would lose interest in you. This was an easy call as this being the #1 zombie world to avoid.